Random Sky View

October 2013
Photography By: Carrie Adams

“Carpet Ride”

” Carpet Ride ”

Where ………. hey is there any concern that I don’t care where me on the carpet travels to !

Is there a course that I must be on , over the hills and through valleys and huge piked ridges . Enjoying the sights along the way . Out of the way of bright sun beams , heavy clouds , sand dust storms .

I am the pilot . On board is only me . A journey that I wish the carpet ride was sturdy and I could pack a few things and lie face up to the heavens , seeing bright rainbows that hug my giggles.

I won’t be dispatching or looking for you . I am looking for the abyss . Wishing to have the vague spaciness with little concern . No meters , no errands , no callers just floating . It’s the creative mission I am missing most .

If the carpet is green , gold , burgundy and soft , good enough for me until I land to get one different and take off again . I just don’t like these walls , streets , sounds , horns and jumbo jets .

If flying is peaceful and I know it is , please make carpets ready for me , for me and my ……….

It’s so much a need to get away from the hustle of lost health. I really am exhausted I want to flow upward and afar and loose this grief .

No one knows …………
I will only be present with dreams and nature schemes .
No hurt , no loss , no bark , no plugs , no rods , no words ………… the carpet ride is ready .
I am seeing the next piece waiting for me .
It is blue , brown , aqua and beige .
Where I go I will have to wait , looking where my eyes touch my heart and my faith .

Some how I have learned all too much .
Sounding like I have heard enough . Oh carpet ride I ask ; please come quickly , urgently I soar , to bounds of greatness and prospects galore .

No real , unreal , so what I did not ask . I am dreaming and dreaming for me so I last .

Carpet Ride
Copyrights Reserved
Carrie Adams
1 – 20 -2010

I don’t have to stitch this date and time .
It’s not important

Changing the carpet ride is the best thought for today ……..

“Carpet Ride”

” Not About You “

September 21, 2010

Not  About You

By: Carrie Adams

” Not About You  ”

Just imagine ; it’s not about you !

What’s the difference red hair , green hair , uneven hair , long hair ; repeated once again ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; who cares , so what !What’s the matter with purpose , passion , idleness , ambitions ; repeated you got it but maybe not someone else ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; the very best , for real your’e sure !

So how do you have proof and from what place , what bulletin , whose mouth ; repeat got to repeat ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; all the best of  ghost busters ; allow me to list them ; it’s not about you !

So where are the crooks of my county , my state , my hills , my yard ; repeat the names of the crooks and you will avoid them ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; it’s cold here , there , warmth somewhere , someplace ; what you gonna do or not do ; it’s not about you !

To go this long in life … half of a century with money , no money , filled dreams , empty ones to go crazy and be hopelessly silent ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; a man or few , some to love and others to avoid ; where is the father of my two kids , wants to hide and that has to unveil ; it’s not about you !

When a marriage was honored and loyalty so masked and hushed , there are two kids hurting and no where to be found ; the madness of a hate crime towards me and towards them ; it’s an invisible crime and no punishment served ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; some named family , others are co workers , pastors and choir members have another life unseen ; it’s not about you !

I will have you know it’s a charade between the curtains of godliness and sin ; to do right and remain wrong ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; my babes that I embraced and was delighted to hold dear , you were not asked to do it for me , did you assume that you had; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; God was present throughout my aches and my grief ; you are not the one I serve ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; my kids are without me and they should never have been ripped apart ; who really cared when they are hired council GAL’s , Attorneys : John Cossidente , Michael Shevick , Judges Raul Vega and Judge Kathleen Kennedy and Alienation is to their approval or is it not sensitive to the immediate family and former spouse ; it’s not about you !

Just imagine ; if my life was here then quickly gone I know deeply it was not mine in the first place but I did my best ; it’s not about you !

Copyrights Reserved

Carrie Adams

~MoM~ to Jake and Braidy Lynn

Palos Heights, Illinois

” The Show Begins “

A Migraine With Raindrops
By: Carrie Adams
https://cja3freespirit.wordpress.com

*** MISSING LETTER INQUIRY ***

*** MISSING LETTER INQUIRY ***

Possible Missing Court Bench & Room

Possible No Known Sender

Possible No Known Recipient

Possible Pile Stacks for Shredding

Possible Low Funds For Stamps

Possible Inadequate Info for Completion

Possible Missed Payment for Forwarding

Possible Deceased Recipient

Possible Blake Ink Shortage

Possible Blur Image

Possible Never Existed

Possible Coercion & Detected Fraud

Possible Inadequacy of Due Process

Possible Insufficient Evidence

Possible Bribe

Possible Perjury

Possible Discrimination Violation

Possible Under Handed Motive

Possible Legalities Unmerited

 

*** Do you all have your document on loss of parenting rights ***

6+ years in Daley Courts Chicago ,Illinois ( mine never existed

Copyrights Reserved

By:Carrie Adams

*** MISSING LETTER INQUIRY ***

facebook/carrie191626

https://www.facebook.com/notes/carrie-adams/missing-letter-inquiry/10151336738499463

” Serenade Truths “

” SERENADE TRUTHS “

   JANUARY 1 , 2012

BY : Carrie Adams

copyrights reserved

”   Serenade Truths are words paired together here while it won’t be music to your ears , it’s stuff that Must Be Said and I guess my duty is to do just that .  ”

I have joined a movement for the first time in my life that has permitted me to be public with it , indulge in the issues no matter what day of the week or even regardless of the time of day .  I would have never known the depths of the family / child rights REUNIFICATION  crisis and I imagine there are others whom are clueless and sadly there are millions whom are drastically affected and forever changed in negative ways .

When a person reaches middle age we generally flow with life , hard knocks are behind us , great beautiful memories are reflected among the family and the extended family members .  FAMILY IS LIFE RIGHT ?????   A time during middle age to fully invest in our own kids and seeing the marvel of their personal growths and achievements .

Even anticipating becoming Grandparents !  Spending family time vacations , family party celebrations , changing one’s work occupation , planning other arrangements to soften all transitions as we typically understand LIFE So MUCH MORE by NOW !

For me personally I would have never imagined my life currently and it is without my own permission and this is the very core and reasons why I am writing ” SERENADE TRUTHS . ”

If you have read my work I do share openly and it’s all  written spontaneous and it will take a few hours before I post it . I do quite a bit of editing and I am my own critic yet I am happy when a piece is finished !

In my younger years I was happy , cheerful , ambitious , dependable , reliable and optimistic of my future  . The very thing that I wanted most was to be a mother .  Wow …. a long dating relationship , then engagement and a wedding . From 1976 to 1982 these events took place . In 1982 my birth father passed away , I was married and I graduated from a Jr. College .

I had begun working in my last 2 semesters at the Jr. College and my interest of a career was with Special Needs  this line of work came very natural for me and I knew it was the perfect fit for my soul and my heart . I am a believer that a decision for any work opportunity should be 1 . That it pleases you and you believe in yourself and the confidence , aptitude and challenges are all wrapped nicely and that YOU now are the impact and influences that the community or city or world needs right THEN .

For me I saw my future and the differences I could make in behalf of others at the age of 12 .  I never left this line of work .  If I had my health  restored I know I would still contribute .

I have had hobbies all of my life and getting older or turning into adulthood did not forfeit these interests .  In 1985 I miscarried my first pregnancy . It was devastating and I felt alone with the tons of emotions and the very prolong grief of my fathers death had set a faint reality to my joy for life and it’s full happiness . What does it mean to others when these life changing moments occur without the support of their loved one /ones ?

We have an entire society that has been affected with depression and that’s natural but is it so natural to be scrutinized , shunned , rejected , ignored , estranged etc …  ?  Hey ; if you are the super mighty person on the sidelines without any hardship then you Must Be Your Own Fool .

What I experienced during grief was life changing and an experience that elevated my writing potential , coping with extreme solitude ( not a choice but entirely the affect of no support ) and to under go the convincing trust as a patient with psychiatric medications being prescribed it truly had worsened my life , all functions , abilities , mind , weight , sleep , activities etc …. Could I one day share the absolute hazards of these medications that were given to me – heck YES .

Skipping around slightly here and not writing a time line of events but summaries and they can be proven and have been witnessed .  I had my son Jake in 1991 I felt great to become a mother . In 1993 I had my daughter Braidy Lynn and what a joy to have 1 of each  ; it’s my thankful blessing and they were gorgeous babies and born healthy .

What came next is the experience of post partum – depression , so now with 2 little children I am having to continue medications and what a tragedy these medications did and what they dangerously caused to my well being and welfare yet I trusted again that Dr. and  1-2 people .

I want to state what happens when such circumstances occur and there is never the second opinion . My family was restrained from this intervention to help me – not a court order , not a script from a Dr. , all my home calls were screened ,  house phone rang and was ignored , door knocks were unanswered , my sleep patterns were indefinite , my speech was slurred and inaudible , hallucinations were regular , ( imagine the controlled FDA regulated depressive medications – have side affects ) , anxiety flight / fight reactions and symptoms were juggling spontaneously and this was all witnessed with my life lived in my marriage .

It was presumed CRAZY , HORRIFIC , DEVASTATING , HELPLESS , HOPELESS , HARMFUL , DANGEROUS , UNIMAGINABLE , DEATH LIKE  ( did I do something bad or got hooked on alcohol and elicit drugs and lived recklessly or breaking laws ) it would be determined very selfish and criminal of me if this was true ) and all the while  1. Dr. and  1-2  people were shadowing my life and this true * BLOCK BUSTER BATTLE * was never handled properly or decently to save all the harm that occurred to me personally and with this point made ” SERENADE TRUTHS ”  have reigned on high mountain tops because everything that happened to me  THEN has NOW proven that  the past experience while being married had nearly killed me and when it is not to one’s own doings then what reason at all have I spent from 2000 – 2006 in the jurisdiction and family domestic courtrooms ??

Stood waiting and appearing at hearings all those years so the 50/50 split of everything could concur ???  in evidence the controversy and unthinkable distruction with never having done anything to change it or dispute the evidence of harm to my well being .

Let me resume because this itself was harsh but more was to follow . In 1999 there is my divorce ( not in my conscience  mind nor with clarity and in addition without even today any memory . )

To look at court records my ex mentions we were separated and this was a reconcilable difference divorce ?  Not so ….

Where did I live being separated from YOU , My Home , My Kids ??

The correct answer is hospitalizations then being transferred to a nursing home . Why not these ” serenade truths ” be told ?

Who takes this kind of action toward anyone ?

A divorce being filed falsely and where was the division of household property , assets and lawful practices under due process and statutes of law ?

To throw me away and never see me again and resume your life or my kids lives without me was the only absolute agenda .

But I belong to Christ’s chosen people and he knew more to intervene and help me when YOU HAD FAILED .

Now I received my second blessing and though a nursing home is the least place to anticipate one I was assigned a Dr. who talked regularly to me , listened , charted , shared and promised with a firm conviction to help me and to change everything because his opinion spoke with heartfelt compassion .

This was not what I knew when living in my marriage .  God is good all the time and I know that the results had turned 360 and what this Dr. did speaks for itself . I have not been on those medications for over 10 years now .

Many occasions in life require the third party or convey the three sides of a story !!

In 2000 I retain an attorney and the shaggy doggy path ways to the county courthouse  was now a new experience and this ordeal for anyone can be problematic , stressful , anxiety filled etc …

If it were not attainable or possible to be loyal to myself ( and to my kids who remained on my mind and in my heart ) the episode of my successful detoxification done by my Dr. from these dangerous medications and wrongful diagnosis then I would not be here as an advocate for 6 yrs , live independently in 3 previous apartments  , been an owner of 4 different vehicles since 2000,  resumed my working career , participated in 3 ministries and working a full time midnight job , at a time worked 1. full time job with a part time job in the evening at the very nursing home my ex arranged as the onset of a divorce was pre meditated without my fullest capacity and the frailty of my life was obviously no concern to him at all .

Keep in mind these are unimagined challenges and the odds are high and the risk of needing any of those poisonous drugs could or would be evident in (helping) control the former diagnosis by 1. Dr. or 1-2 people who actively maintained their beliefs .

Is it okay to dance with excitement when YOU know that GOD has given YOU a miracle ?

Of course but let’s drag the falsehoods around for another 6 yrs because the unsatisfied ex , just cannot be wrong , his investment of our divorce was singularly function able  because it all was  years prior  that a diagnosis or condition derailed this endeavor It’s important to seek one’s justice when it was never issued from the start – from the actual actions of being divorced .

Copyrights Reserved

By: Carrie Adams

https://www.facebook.com/notes/carrie-adams/-serenade-truths-/10150483461464463

” Serenade Truths “

cja3freespirit.wordpress.com

Carrie Adams

“Still Wondering .. ”

 

“Still Wondering.  …………..”

Copyrights Reserved
Carrie Adams

How did the disfigurement of the law have the ability to destroy our lives and our children’s lives: still wondering?
Why would any person who is a parent have the intentional conscious decision to keep the children from the other parent and that makes sense: still wondering!

While attorneys, judges, officials and the crew in family law courts continue obvious human right violations where are these nations’ outstanding leaders in civil rights: still wondering!
How much bribery funds and extortion is really penalizing innocent lives for the mere sake of greed: still wondering!

How many of my friends through the years are here on MySpace and hoping to reach me: still wondering!
How could my children truly recover from PAS: still wondering!

When will the facts and truths be known to all and receive the justice that I expected: still wondering!

Have my kids been told that I do not want them, need them love them, and any such obstructive nonsense and now they are so confused: still wondering!

 

Do the friends and neighbors that were my immediate contacts have any desire to help my kids if they have a need: still wondering!

 

Can they see between the lies and control that they have had to experience when will they stand up and move away and reach me: still wondering!
Would they ever have the love and normalcy towards me after the length of 4 years of alienation: still wondering!

Do they know they are able to reach me and my number is everywhere: still wondering!
Do they know that I know that they had many moments of being coached: still wondering! 

 

Does my daughter know that I spoke up for her since I became aware of what she was dealing with , does she know I stand up for her and as well my son and have been knocked down for no legit reason : still wondering !

Do they know that lies should not be said to others not to a law official, even to an attorney is wrong and to a judge is severely wrong: still wondering! 

Do they know that the immediate relatives in their lives know how serious this situation is and choose to sit back and allow this estrangement to continue, what kind of person does what they are all allowing: still wondering!

Do they know it was said that I never bought them things, never spent any money on them, did not assist in provisions for them, how is that sensible – my kids know what we did when we were together, I did not call someone else for monies over 3 years so I could have fun with my own kids: still wondering! 

 

At what point does someone say that the torture of alienation is a felony: still wondering!
Do my kids know the liars and bad people that surround them: still wondering!
What went wrong between us, just say it, I do not know maybe you do and I should be told ,so many secrets in this filthy case: still wondering!

When does a judge permit no holidays , no vacations , no visits , no phone calls , no sight or time with a parent and the children , where is this allowed : still wondering ! 

 

Who knows me better , my mother , my siblings , my former spouse , a therapist , a physician , my friends , or my children : still wondering !

Do they even know that this treatment is against the law, they have rights as well: still wondering!
Will they need alot more support and who really loves them like their own mother: still wondering! 

 

Do they know why this occurred and that it was all a stage , a fraud , a parental right crime , and it is played and directed like a pretending life and only 1 person does not like the fact that I do exist , I am not suppose to be alive : still wondering !

I am going to come back to this because it will be lengthy and I need to cut it short.

Thank you readers for your support – thank you to all my friends, thank you God for blessing me with beautiful kids!

Copyrights Reserved

Carrie Adams

~ MoM ~ to Jake and Braidy / Palos Heights, IL.

https://cja3freespirit.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/still-wondering/